Divorce can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever experience in your life- along with the heartbreak you also have a ton of practical matters to think about as well. The dividing up of houses, cars, pensions and other money for a start, and then you have the wellbeing of children to think about too if you have little ones together. As unpleasant as it all is, going into the proceedings with a good frame of mind means you can all come to a resolution that works for everyone. Here are some things to think about.
Putting Kids First
No matter what happens between you and your partner, you’ll of course always put your kids first. Divorce can be really hard for them, so it’s important to make things as easy as possible. Keep talking to them about what’s going on, depending on their age you might need to figure out an age appropriate way to explain the situation so that they can properly understand. Remind them that both parents love them still and will always be there for them regardless of anything else. Consider looking into professional support for your children if they’re struggling to cope with the divorce. Child therapists and child protection lawyers can provide them with a safe space to talk about their feelings and learn healthy coping strategies. Keeping their routines as consistent as possible. Even though things might be changing, sticking to familiar schedules for meals, bedtime, and activities can provide them with a sense of stability and security
Try Family Mediation
If you’re thinking about sorting out custody without going to court, consider family mediation. It’s a private way for both of you to talk things through with a neutral party- a mediator, who helps you make decisions together about what’s best for your family. It’s not about fixing your relationship, but it could help you avoid the costs and stress of going to court.
Let Go of Blame
Divorce isn’t something anyone wants, but don’t blame yourself for it- life sometimes takes unexpected turns. Maybe you and your partner just grew apart or perhaps something else happened, but either way it’s okay to move on. Focus on making things better for yourself and your kids instead of dwelling on what went wrong. Divorce might not seem like a good thing, but it can have its upsides. It means there’s no more arguing or tension at home, which can be a relief for everyone, especially the kids. Even if you never fought in front of them, they can still pick up on bad vibes so look at divorce as a chance to start fresh and be the best parent you can be.
Seeking Support
Don’t be afraid to reach out for support during this process. Whether it’s from friends, family, or a therapist, having someone to talk to really can help you cope with the emotions and challenges of divorce. There are people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time.
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